Lane's Recycled Fairy Tales

by Barry Lane

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about

Fairy tale songs from different points of view. The cd sells for $7.92 on itunes but ,in true bandcamp crowdsource spirit, please pay what you can afford and think it's worth. I want children to use these songs to learn about writing and point of view. That is more important than profit. A lesson guide is soon to come.

credits

released April 28, 2013

recorded at Archer Studios in Winooski VT. All songs written by Barry Lane.
Background vocals and vocals, Carol-lee Lane and Jessie Lane
Blues guitar on Three Bear Blues, Danny Archer

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about

Barry Lane Vermont

I write songs about kindness for children and songs about hope and justice for adults.

I love Pete Seeger, and believe, as he did, that a single song can help change the world by uniting hearts and minds.


We are the mixed fruit of one tree,

Live in peace and unity.

Forget the old
embrace the new,

Less me, me, me,
more

You, you, you.

For now is the New Day.
... more

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Track Name: Three Bear Blues
THE THREE BEAR BLUES

Well, I hear folks tell me them,
Three bear blues ain’t bad.
Well, I hear folks tell me them,
Three bear blues ain’t bad.
But these three bear blues,
Are some of the worst I’ve ever had.

Well, the porridge is too hot,
The porridge it’s too cold.
Well, the porridge is too hot,
The porridge it’s too cold.
But that Baby Bear’s porridge,
Really’s got me sold.

Well, the chair’s too old,
The chair it is too new.
Well, the chair’s too old,
The chair’s too new.
But that Baby Bear’s chair broke.
I think I’m gonna sue.

Well, the bed’s too soft,
The bed it is too firm.
Well, the bed’s too soft,
The bed’s too firm.
But with that Baby Bear’s Bed,
I do not toss or turn.

Well, my name is Goldy,
My name is Goldilocks.
Well, my name is Goldy,
My name is Goldilocks.
And when those three bears came,
I jumped out of my socks.

Well, I hear folks tell me them,
Three bears blues ain’t bad.
Well, I hear folks tell me them,
Three bear blues ain’t bad.
But these three bear blues,
Are some of the worst I’ve ever had.

I got the hot-porridge, broken-chair,
Hard-bed, can’t-sleep-tonight, three bear blues.
Track Name: Cinderella Revisited
Cinderella

Her name was Cinderella,
Her real name was Ann.
She was interested in this prince fella,
His name was Prince Dan.

Dan was having a party.
Dan was having a ball.
She wanted to go there,
She said that was all.

Chorus

I’m a fairy god mother,
I’m a fairy god queen.
I’m the best godmother
You’ve ever seen.
I turn pumpkins to coaches,
I turn gerbils to men
And if you’re not happy
I come back again.

As, you need a dress girl.
You need some clothes.
You need a coachman,
And powder on that nose.

One snap of my fingers,
One blink of my eye,
You’re ready to go now –
At midnight say good bye.

Repeat Chorus

Ah, when she left that evening
She was really so sad.
But Prince Dan came the next day,
It wasn’t so bad.

They’ve been married for three years,
Been happy for two.
Now Prince Dan’s found another,
What can she do?

Repeat chorus

My dear godmother,
Please do this for me.
Make him some sludge
At the bottom of the sea.

Make him an insect.
Make him a rock.
Make him the lint
Inside a dirty sock.

My dear Cinderella,
You don’t really want that.
I could make him a pigeon,
I could make him a bat.

But then there’d be no way
For you to progress
You see, I’m thinking of you
And your happiness.

You see, I used to be married
To a fairy god man.
Till he found a god girl –
Her name was Suzanne.

He left the next morning,
He lightened his load.
I turned him that evening
Into a fair god toad!

And it was three years later
On a very dark road,
I saw there before me
A very flat toad.

I knew in an instant
It was my god man.
Is that what you want
For your Bonnie Prince Dan?

Repeat Chorus

My dear Cinderella,
What can I say?
I wish there was something I could do
For you right away.

But you know fairies do magic
And people do work.
The next time you marry
Don’t marry a jerk!

Repeat Chorus.
Track Name: Wolf Song
.
WOLF SONG

There is nothing wrong with a Big Bad Wolf,
Is there?
I mean isn’t a Big Bad Wolf
Just about the same as a furry bear?
So forget about those three little hogs
Over there
And listen to the son that I sing.

Chorus

I love pig’s eyes, I love pig’s ears,
I love port chow mein.
I love pig’s tongue,
I love pig’s blood.
Pig toes drive me insane.
I’m just a Big Bad Wolf
Who hasn’t got a name.
So don’t be surprised
When I eat you.

The first little pig has a house of straw.
They taste real good over an open flame.
But they’re better raw.
So I huffed and I puffed
And I blew the whole thing to Saginaw.
And the sweet little fella turned to me
And this is what I said.

Repeat Chorus

Second little pig’s got a house of wood.
A little mustard or some mayonnaise,
That’d be good.
All this huffin’ and puffin’s got me
Feeling like I should
Have a little more something to eat.
So I tell him…

Repeat chorus

You know, those two little pigs got up my appetite.
Hey, one more and I think I’ll call it a night.
But the house is made of brick
So I slide down the chimney quick.
But I land in a pot of boiling water.
The little piggy turns to me and talks like Bob Dylan.
He says…

I love wolf eyes,
I love wolf ears,
I love wolf chow mein,
I love wolf tongue,
I love wolf blood.
Wolf toes drive me insane.
I’m just a little pig
Who hasn’t got a name.
So don’t be surprised when I eat you.
Track Name: Oh Hansel
OH, HANSEL

My mon and dad were talkin;
Just the other night
Sayin’, “We ain’t got no food to eat,
Things are very tight.

We’ll take the kids tomorrow
And leave them in the woods.
They’ll find their way through valleys
And they’ll learn to live alone.”
“Oh, Hansel.”
My sister said to me.
“Oh, Hansel!
We’re children.
Can’t they see?”

I went out in the moonlight,
And I gathered up some rocks.
Put them in my pockets.
I put them in my socks.

When we went out the next day,
I dropped them on the way.
“Hi, Mom and Dad,
We’re back home.
You see we are OK!”

“Oh Hansel,”
My sister said to me.
“Oh, Hansel,
I’m shaking,
Can’t you see?”

They took us out the next day,
And they left us there again.
We found a house of gingerbread,
Low down in a fen.

An old lady she come out
And asked us to come in.
She locked me in a prison cage
And grabbed my sister’s hand.

“Oh, Hansel,”
My sister cried and moaned.
“Oh, Hansel,
We’ll never get back home.”

The next day the woman,
She gave me food to eat.
Gretal did the dishes.
Gretal cooked the meat.

The woman poked a fork at me
And said she’d do no harm.
Gretal gave a bone to me –
“Pretend this is your arm.”

“Oh, Hansel,”
My sister said to me.
“Oh, Hansel,
I’m stronger,
Wait and see.”

Late the next morning,
The woman lit the stove.
Asked Gretal to climb in
And check those fires and coals.
Gretal said “I can’t see,
You better check yourself.”
Gretal slammed the oven door.
The witch she screamed and yelled.

“Oh, Hansel,”
My sister said to me.
“Oh, Hansel,
I’ve done it!
Now we’re free.”

The house is full of food to eat,
The house is full of jewels.
The house is full of money,
The house is full of tools.
We brought it back to mom and dad
And said, “Look what we’ve got.”
They smiled and hugged and kissed us –
“We missed you both a lot.”

“Oh, Hansel,”
My sister said that night.
“Oh, Hansel,
You know I’m different,
But I’m all right.”
Track Name: Giant Fears
GIANT FEARS

There was a boy; his name was Jack.
He swapped his cow for a sack.
A sack of beans.
A sack of dreams,
Nothing is just what it seems.

A giant came to me today.
I told him it would be OK.
He’s sick
Of all his Giant ways.

He goes
“Fee Fi Fo Fum!
Fee Fi Fo Fum!
I smell the blood of an Englishman!
Be he living or be he dead,
I’ll grind his bones to make my bread.”

Well, I’ve been a shrink for fifteen years.
I specialize in Giant fears.
They’re scared of girls,
They’re scared of boys,
They’re scared of a loud sudden noise.

They’re big and lazy, fat and mean.
Their nose has warts, their teeth are green.
But underneath it all,
They’re just terrified.
They go,
“Fe Fi Fo Fum!
Fe Fi Fo Fum!
I’m scared to death of everyone.
I’m scared of crowds,
I’m scared of phones,
I’m even scared when I’m alone.”

Well, maybe you don’t believe in giant fairness.
Maybe you don’t believe in giant pride.
Maybe you’re not an advocate of giant awareness.
Maybe you haven’t healed that giant inside.
But listen to my song,
It won’t take you too long,
To see,
Giants have feelings, too.

Chorus

We’ll sing,
Fe Fi Fo fum
Fe Fi Fo Fum
The same blood flows through everyone!
We’re a movable ocean,
We’re a walking tide.
And we need each one,
If we are to survive.”

Well, the beanstalk fell on the giant’s head
He’s in the field now and he is dead.
Jack’s rejoicing,
Mom’s the same –
No thoughts of pity on their brain.
Sure, he was mean right to the bone,
But more than that,
He was alone
Because he never learned,
To sign our song.

Repeat Chorus

Well, now the earth is one country,
Now the earth is one land.
We all play different instruments,
But we play’em in the same band.
Dark and light,
Red and tan,
Weak and self-reliant,
And even,
Those big, fat giants.

Repeat Chorus.
Track Name: Froggies and Dreamers
Froggies and Dreamers

Her name was Matilda,
And I should have billed her,
For retrieving her golden ball.

I was a green frog then.
I sat on a log then,
All day and did nothing at all.
“Till I started dreamin’,
Of bowls of ice cream and,
Castles way up on a hill.
We made a quick deal,
And that’s why I feel,
Like I wish I were swimming there still.

Chorus

Froggies and dreamers,
Lovers and schemers,
Don’t know when to leave well enough alone.
They call me the Frog Prince,
The down in the Bog Prince.
I sit here all day and I moan.

She was my sweet savior,
“Till she changed her behavior,
And threw me against that cold wall.

I grew arms and feet then.
I sat on a seat then,
‘Cause I was feeling thirty sizes too tall.

She said I was human,
I looked like Paul Newman,
And would I please be her man.
She smiled so sweetly,
She laughed so completely,
I told her I will if I can.

Repeat Chorus

Oh, when I was a tadpole,
The world was my mudhole.
I never knew sorrow or pain.

I’d float there all day long,
Humming my frog song,
Through sunshine or shadow or rain.

I had no idea,
This princely career,
Would make me feel lonely and strange.
I’m out of the water,
With this old king’s daughter,
And I don’t know how I can change.

Repeat Chorus.

I have a suggestion,
Which grew from a question,
I asked myself yesterday.

“Would I have been better,
If I’d never met her,
Or is it my fault I’m this way?”

I thought for a while,
And walked for a mile,
To the swamp I never forgot.
Listen all you peepers,
You are your own keepers.
Don’t try to be something you’re not.

Repeat Chorus
Track Name: Beast at Work
BEAST AT WORK

He’s the ugliest guy I’ve ever seen,
His hair’s a mess and his eyes are mean.
I sit and read a magazine,
While he just stares at me.

Then I look at him and his seyes are red,
Something’s happening in his head.
Is it something I did or said,
To make you so angry?

Oh, you have to understand my dear,
Listen close, I want you to hear,
Drain your eyes of all that fear,
And listen to my song.

I’m a Beast,
And I’m not happy in the least.
I’m a Beast,
And not a lawyer or a priest.
Can help me out.
My hopes are set on you, my dear,
To put an end to all my tears,
I’ve been waiting all these years,
For your love to rescue me.

Still I’m a Beast,
And I’m not happy in the least.
I’m a beast,
And not a lawyer or a priest,
Can help me out.
And when you leave tomorrow,
My heart will fill with sorrow,
When you walk out that door,
I will surely die.

Don’t pound your chest, don’t go berserk.
If you think that way it’ll never work.
You’ve missed the point if you think it’s me.
I can’t rescue you.

I know that your’re not used to this.
You use your teeth.
You use your fists.
But listen to your heart and then,
You’ll know what to do.

Oh, you have to understand, my dear.
Listen close, I want you to hear.
Drain your eyes of all that fear.
And listen to my song.

You’re a Beast.
And you’re not happy in the least.
You’re a east.
And not a beauty queen or priest,
Can help you out.
And when I leave tomorrow,
If it should cause you sorrow,
When I walk out that door,
Be brave enough to cry.

I got back in the early morn.
The plates were smashed and the curtains torn.
But he sat there in a rocking chair,
With a brand new smile.

His hair was combed.
And his teeth were brushed.
His shirt was pressed.
And his toilet flushed.
Was this the lonely fellow,
I’d left wandering in the wild?

Oh, you have to understand my ear,
I listened close and felt my tears.
I drained my heart of all my fears,
And found a brand new song.

I’m a Prince.
And I hope I can convince,
You I’m a Prince.
And I’ve been really happy since,
I found out.
True love is built on sharing,
A special kind of caring,
That reaches out to others,
And also to yourself.

Yes, you’re a Prince.
And I’ve loved you ever since,
You were a Beast.
It never mattered in the least.
Now you’ve found out,
We’ll reach for our tomorrows,
Unafraid of sorrows.
We’ll build a bridge through all the years,
Of love and unity.
Track Name: Sleeping Beauty
SLEEPING BEAUTY

I used to be a princess,
The daughter of a king.
I slept in silks and satins,
I wore five golden rings.
But not I lie here naked,
A smile upon my face,
No more need to fake it,
No need to run the race.

Chorus

Here I am.
Here I am.
My dreams they take me far across the land.
Here I am.
Here I am.
I cross the desert oceans and sea sand.

My tower is made of jungle,
My tower is made of stone.
My tower is made of shadow,
My tower is made of bone.
No more handsome princes,
To keep me up at night,
Their promises of happiness,
Their eyes so fierce and bright, and

Repeat Chorus

Last night I spent in China,
This morning southern Spain,
Tomorrow Carolina,
Maybe Lake Champlain.
A year I spent in India,
A month in Paraguay,
An hour in Chicago,
A night on Bantry Bay, singing

Repeat Chorus

Well, I dreamed I was a poet,
I dreamed I was a poem,
About a woman who slayed dragons,
And lived in ancient Rome.
I dreamed I was an eagle,
A tiger and a bear.
I dreamed I was a seagull,
A walrus and a hare, singing

Repeat Chorus

Well, when you close your eyes,
And think of time,
Well, time just melts away.
When you write a song,
And try to rhyme,
The words get in the way.

He came to me this morning,
His lips so warm and sweet.
He kissed me without warning,
Nowhere to retreat. He said

Here I am.
Here I am.
My dreams it takes me far across the land.
Here I am.
Here I am.
I’ve crossed the desert oceans and sea sand.

My mouth is full of sleep dust,
My eyes are full of sand,
My heart is full of sorrow,
There’s cobwebs on my hand.

I wish you hadn’t come here,
I wish you’d stayed at home,
I wish you left me sleeping,
Dreaming on my own.

But here you are,
Here you are.
Your dreams they keep you shining like a star.
Here you are,
Here you are.
Is happy ever after so bizarre?

You know you’re not the way Ipictured you.
Your hair is full of dust.
Your face is full of sadness,
Your jewelry’s full of rust.
You’ve robbed me of my glory,
You’ve robbed me of my fame.
You’ve taken all my handsomeness,
Now nothing is the same.

But here you are,
Here you are.
Your dreams they keep you shining like a star.
Here you are,
Here you are.
Is happy ever after so bizarre?